


Northern Lights

by alley_oops, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Logan Marshall-Green and KJ Apa [12]
Category: Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), New Zealand Actor RPF, Riverdale (TV 2017) RPF
Genre: BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-14 16:31:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17512052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: Logan (AU) is ex-military, ex-mercenary, mostly retired, and occasionally works for AU Tommy Flanagan who sponsored him into Citadel. He's also good friends with AU Antony Starr and Stephen Amell*. He has family money as well as his own. He struggles with PTSD. He was involved with AU Rafael Lazzini but that relationship ended roughly 10 months ago. Their storyline can be foundhere.Citadel knows Logan's past occupation(s) and current connections and they couldn't care less as long as he's not involving the organization directly in anything illegal.KJ (AU) is busy traveling the world while he tries to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life after having made a huge sum of money from an app he developed. He's been aged up to 31.*their storyline is posted under my name





	Northern Lights

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Logan Marshall-Green/KJ Apa storyline in the BDSM RPS RPG [Citadel](http://citadel.dreamwidth.org/read).

**players only. takes place[after the boys make their first set of confessions](https://logan-marshall-green.dreamwidth.org/5197.html).**

It's been a long day of hiking, their guide having decided to take the long way up Mount Esja given the general fitness of their group. Once they reached the summit, they set up camp, erecting a circle of two man tents with roll-back roofs, and had a traditional Icelandic dinner of lamb stew, fish jerky, rye bread and kleina, a slightly sweetened fried dough roll, with coffee. Several of their group have brought alcohol with them and are already partway to drunk but Logan's abstained. Not only does getting pissed not go well with his meds but he'd actually like to remember seeing the Northern Lights.

Their guide, Ólafur, comes over to sit on the log beside them. "How did you find today's pace?"

"Really good," KJ answers with a smile. It's been an exhilarating day and he's a little buzzed from the shared (chilled, of course) vodka. He's already cut himself off, though, wary of the desire to jump Logan in front of all the other hikers. "This country is amazing."

Ólafur smiles. "Thank you. You are from Australia?"

"Close," KJ says, which isn't really true, but it's his standard response when someone mistakes him for Australian. People like Logan who can distinguish his accent are rare. "I'm from New Zealand. Have you ever been? It's another beautiful country."

"No, I haven't," Ólafur says, offering Logan more coffee, "but I have friends who have gone and they said that, that it is very beautiful." He smiles again. "And you," he addresses Logan, "are from America."

Logan nods. "I am." Smiling back.

"Did you meet in Iceland or are you travelling together?" Ólafur asks.

"We're mates. Traveling together," KJ says, glancing aside at Logan in question. Uncertain whether he wants to elaborate on that at all.

"KJ's travelling the world, we met in California where I live, and he invited me to come to Iceland with him," Logan says, watching the way Ólafur is watching KJ before he reaches for his lover's hand. "We're really enjoying ourselves."

That does it. KJ beams and squeezes Logan's hand. "It's the first time visiting here for both of us," he adds. "So it's extra special."

Ólafur looks slightly disappointed but he covers for it well. "That's great. Are you continuing with your travels after this?"

"We have almost two weeks left here, and then I have a work thing in Colombia," Logan explains. "We haven't talked about whether KJ's coming with me or not. If not, I'll do that and then we'll keep travelling afterwards."

It's the first KJ's heard that traveling to Colombia with Logan is even a possibility, but he works to keep his surprise to himself. They chat with their guide for a couple more minutes, then let him go to check on his other charges. "I can come with you when you're working?" he asks in a whisper.

"You could," Logan says, glancing around, making sure he knows exactly where everyone is while they're talking about this, the sound of drunken revellers covering for them nicely. "Or you could stay at my place. I don't have to work the whole time I'm there so you'd get to do some sight-seeing, _but_ we should probably talk about what my work entails at some point."

KJ nods. "I've got some time now," he says with a little smile, and gestures towards their waiting tent. "Should we step into your office?"

Fuck. Could his timing be any shittier? They're at the top of a fucking mountain, waiting on a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but Logan's been waiting for the other shoe to drop and he has to do this at some point and there's never going to be a good time, not really, things only getting harder and harder the more involved they get. The longer he withholds the truth. "Okay." He dumps his cold coffee behind the log and slips into their tent, zipping it closed behind them.

KJ stretches out on his sleeping bag, sternly reminding himself - again - to keep his hands off his lover. "You look so serious all of a sudden," he murmurs. "You don't _have_ to tell me."

"I know I don't," Logan says, well aware he could hide things and KJ would probably never know, "but I don't want there to be secrets between us."

"All right." KJ rolls to his side, propping his chin in his hand. "Want me to go first?" he asks, only half joking. "Would that make it easier, if I told you a secret?"

"Not really, but I think you should anyway," Logan says with a smile.

KJ laughs and ducks his head while he thinks. "Okay, this is a big one," he whispers. "I wet my bed until I was 7."

"Really?" Logan feels for KJ, even now. "That must have sucked."

"It was really embarrassing," KJ agrees. "And my older sisters were positively merciless about it. They loved to tell my friends when they'd visit." He laughs about it now.

"I'll bet," Logan says, shaking his head. "And this would be why I'm glad I'm only," he teases.

KJ grins, happy to see Logan lightening up again. "See that? Always count your blessings." He nudges Logan's shoulder. "So... what?"

Logan blows out a breath. "Okay. I told you I'm ex-military," he says, "and I am, but I also worked privately after I got out."

"Uh-huh. What is that, like, guns for hire? Personal security?" KJ asks, studying Logan's face in the low light.

"Both," Logan says, glancing at KJ, trying to get on a read on his reaction. "Gun for hire, muscle, security, doing recon for various kinds of operations. A lot of which hasn't been legal."

That takes a few moments to sink in. "What-- you're a gangster?" KJ asks, and feels stupid the second the words are out. What a question.

"Not exactly," Logan says, the first time he's ever heard the word applied to himself. "At one point I would've said I was a mercenary, maybe a professional soldier. I never worked just for the money and I never took jobs where innocent people were going to get hurt."

"So... it's mostly illegal, but no one's getting hurt?" KJ asks, working through it. Of course, that's not precisely what Logan said. "No one innocent is getting hurt. If you're not in it for the money, then what for? It can't all be loyalty to Tommy."

"The challenge, the freedom, the camaraderie, because I was really fucking good at all of it," Logan says, watching KJ closely. "But that was before I was held captive. What I told you about being mostly retired is true. What I'm doing now... Tommy deals in weapons, guns, and I demo them and take orders. He thinks I have a way with clients and I do. But I'm getting out. I promised I'd do this job at the end of the month and then I'm pretty much done."

KJ nods, trying to absorb all that. "Is this what you were working on when you got captured?" He blanches as a thought strikes him. "Wait, when Tommy rescued you, did he kill them?"

"I was actually working on a hostage retrieval, this wealthy businessman, when I was taken," Logan explains. "We had bad intel, thought they'd taken him for money when they'd taken him for fucking the guy's wife, and while we got him out, several of my men were killed and I was captured and the guy decided to take everything out on me. So there was no ransom, no offering me up to anyone. He just tortured me, day in, day out, for over a year."

"Over a year," KJ echoes in a whisper, shaken. He can't even imagine it. "You must have thought no one was coming for you."

That's exactly what Logan had thought and he finds himself tearing up, a sudden lump in his throat. Finally he nods. "I thought I'd die there," he whispers.

At least now KJ has an inkling as to Logan's loyalty to Tommy. His savior. He wraps his arms around his lover and hugs him close, like he can shield him from memories with his body.

And Logan lets himself be held. Burying his face against KJ's throat for a long minute.

The surge of protectiveness is strong. "Did Tommy kill him?" KJ feels pretty certain of what the answer will be.

"Not Tommy himself, but the guys he sent, yeah, they did," Logan nods, drawing back a little. Just enough that he can see KJ's face.

"Good," KJ whispers fervently. He strokes his thumb over Logan's cheekbone. "That'll save me the trouble of hunting him down."

Logan smiles at that. "I just need you to tell me we're still okay," he says softly, searching KJ's eyes. "That what I've told you hasn't changed your mind."

"You mean, because of what you said about how your work isn't always legal?" KJ frowns, considering. "Yeah, I don't care. I trust you," he whispers, and kisses his lover.

Logan kisses him back, hard, pulling KJ to him, so fucking relieved and beyond grateful. "I didn't want to keep it from you," he whispers. "I didn't want to start things based on a lie, or even an omission."

"I trust you," KJ says again, nipping at Logan's lips. "I love you. You're gonna have to fuck up a lot worse than that to get rid of me."

Logan laughs. "I love you too," he says, kissing KJ deeply before pulling back with a sigh. "We should probably go back out there. It's starting to get dark."

"It's going to be amazing," KJ says. He brushes his lips over the back of Logan's hand. "I'm so lucky to be here with you."

"Not as lucky as me," Logan says, smiling, the words sinking into his own brain. He _is_ lucky. So fucking lucky. Could have died in that cell. Lost all of this time, this life, the chance to meet KJ. Fall in love. Fuck. He kisses KJ's hand in return, pushing down the sudden panic, the overwhelming emotion. "Let's go watch. I could use some more coffee."

The aurora borealis are as stunning as expected, the sky streaked with iridescent color. They sit on their log again and KJ keeps hold of Logan's hand. He's still processing all that his lover said, but he keeps returning to the same conclusion: he doesn't care. Logan will soon be retiring from his former life, getting away from the danger and the dubious morality, and that's what's most important to KJ.

"It's so beautiful," Logan breathes, utterly in awe, having let go of KJ's hand for a minute to film the lights, several dozen pictures snapped already. But now his phone goes away and he just leans against KJ's shoulder, letting himself bask in the natural wonder and being here with the man he loves. "Is it what you expected?"

"So much better," KJ tells him with a grin. "Iceland is better because of you."

Logan nods. "And this is just the start," he says, grinning back. "Of Iceland, and travelling the world together."

It's perfect. The night sky overhead, the landscape. The man. Heedless of their neighbors, KJ wraps his arms around Logan for a kiss.

"Lucky for us this is visible all night long," Logan murmurs, smiling, the words brushed over KJ's lips.

"You mean that it's okay if we miss some of it?" KJ asks with a soft snicker. Considering the company and their surroundings, he's just joking. Mostly.

Logan chuckles. "That's exactly what I mean." Kissing KJ again.


End file.
